6 easy tips that will help you find new friends after 50 (for introverts)
It’s hard to find new friends. Doesn’t matter if you are over 50, 60, or 25.
We start to lose friends at the age of 25, and as we get older, our group of contacts begins to shrink. We are just busy with life; we forget to nurture friendships and they fade away.
No matter how old you are, it’s always a little challenging to make friends. When you reach middle age, however, it can be super daunting.
50 And No Friends. What To Do?
After 50 and 60, your friends will start to have health issues and can’t socialize as much as you, some of the friends start to leave this earth forever. Our friends circle become smaller and smaller.
“With many people’s lives running at full speed and in different directions, it’s hard to slow down long enough to find and develop new friendships. We are more connected than ever on our devices or social media but finding someone in real life to connect with can be a challenge.” – Pennison.
When I reached 50, my children were already grown up, I had more time and decided to be more socially active.
I research “How to meet a new friend” and decided to try. In this post, I want to share with you, my experience.
How To Meet New Friend If You Are Over 50?
If you are over 50 or 60 and looking for a new friendship, here are my tips:
1. Be A Good Friend
It’s much easier to find new friends if you start with a positive attitude and a goal to be a good friend.
Don’t judge another person on what they did or didn’t do. Concentrate on yourself. Are you a good friend?
- Be honest
- Take an interest in your friend’s life
- Make time for your friend
- Encourage your friend to meet
- Work through conflict
- Be present
- Be dependable and trustworthy
“Good things come to you when you are a good human being. It is this kindness networking boomerang.” – Meaghan Murphy, Author – Your Fully Charged Life & Editor in Chief of Woman’s Day Magazine
2. Remember My Name
Create a mnemonic device to help another person to remember your name. For example, my name is Irina, the most popular Russian name that starts with “I”. It also helps people to start a conversation with me.
Of course, use the same trick to remember their name as well.
3. Make A Business Card
Believe it or not, I have created a business card with my name, my social media handles, and my email. If I find someone with whom I share the same interests and would like to connect more on a personal level. I would give them my card.
I use this card to connect to my new neighbors also. Very handy.
You can write your phone number on the back if you wish so. I made these cards myself using a printer at home and AVERY business card papers. I use Word templates, but you can use a free tool like Canva to create yours. Here are the video instructions on HOW TO CREATE AND PRINT BUSINESS CARDS/LABELS WITH CANVA & AVERY.
Of course, ask them to give you their info and suggest meeting for coffee too.
Once you have a mutual interest, a name, and contact info you are on your way to developing a new friendship.
“When you find common grounds to laugh and smile with someone, you don’t need to ask for it, friendship begins to build itself.”
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4. Be with the Same People on a Regular and Frequent basis
Find activities that will put you in contact with the same people on a regular and frequent basis. Once a month is too far apart.
I find good activities would be clubs, exercise classes at YMCA, hobby classes, and mall walkers that meet at least once a week is the best to make new friends.
If you live in a town that doesn’t have any of these activities, try a popular local cafe. Just go there at the same time and soon you will meet regulars.
I am a shy person and introvert.
- So first I start with a smile and a nod hi.
- After a couple of days, I feel adventurous and will strike a small talk conversation about the weather or a class we are attending.
- Then I will move on to more personal, but light questions to see if we have common interests.
- After a month I may give my “business” card.
It’s hard to meet a lifelong friend. I made two, which is more than enough for me.
Most women I met are married, and busy with their own life and family. But I made a good acquaintance and have a good conversation with them when we meet.
Other good activities to try;
- Zumba classes
- Sunset yoga
- Country line dancing
- Pickleball
- Kiwanis club
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5. Don’t Be Hard on Yourself
There is so many lonely people of different age, gender, and different reasons in this world.
Don’t be hard on yourself. Not all of us will find a friend to share our deepest secret with and it’s okay.
Just go out of the house. Talk to people and be social.
Sometimes just a conversation on the street while walking a dog can make my day happier and make me feel less lonely.
Maybe stop looking for friendships and just have an adventure and see what happens.
6. Reacquaint with Yourself
After 50 years your interests and views on life changed. I know, because mine did.
Spend your time finding out who you are now. What are your new interests and hobbies? What new would you like to learn?
I highly recommend the book “The Charge” by Brendon Burchard or watching his videos on YouTube for free. Six years ago, Brendon made an online course in collaboration with Oprah, and I took it. It helped me a lot.
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Can You Find New Friends at the Book Club?
Book club meetings usually happen once a month. It’s too far apart and meeting a lot of different people all the time, while interesting and stimulating, doesn’t lend itself to developing lasting connections.
Can You Find New Friends by Going to Meetup?
I went to a few meetups in the past 10 years. There is no repeat interaction in Meetup groups. Most people just come for one meeting and never come back.
Also, I found that people talk in the group’s context, but nobody wants to continue the friendship after that event.
Can You Find New Friends by Taking Classes?
People take evening classes to learn a new skill, not to socialize. You can make an acquaintance for the duration of the class, but it’s hard to find a new friend in this situation.
There are always exceptions. Perhaps if will be only two of you (over 50 girls) there and you will bond. 😊
I made an acquaintance like that once when I was 40. We were both immigrants from Russia and of the same age attending JAVA script classes. However, after finishing classes, we saw each other once only. We didn’t have enough mutual interest.
Facebook Find Friends
Here is a shortlist of Facebook groups that I find helpful when I feel lonely or need the support of other midlife-aged women in the same stage of life as I am.
And bonus points all these communities are available 24/7
Community of Single People – Friendly and supportive group offering support to single people of all ages and gender.
Fabulous50s Community – A supportive group of women devoted to looking their best, living healthy lives, and supporting each other through the ups and downs of life.
Forever Fierce: Midlife Matters – Celebrates all the women who are still vibrant and stylish over 50. I personally love all the outfit photos.
Fun Things to Do with a Friend
Once you find a friend you will be faced with the challenges of maintaining this friendship.
So, I decided to create a list of activities that girls over 50 may enjoy doing together.
- Take an online cooking class together and share wins and fails.
- Go to a silly movie
- Go for a walk, grab a coffee and chat about your mutual interests
- Take a yoga class together
- Read the same book, watch some movie, read the same article and have a discussion.
- Go shopping together
- Make a DIY gift for your friend
- Do a paint night. Buy supplies at the dollar store and follow the YouTube tutorial.
CONCLUSION
Spread kindness in any way as much as possible. Enjoy your life doing things that make you happy and friends will likely show up. Be happy with yourself.
Take care and I wish you all the best.
What advice would you give to a friend that feels lonely and looking for a new friend? Please join the discussion!
Have a fabulous week and take care! Irina Nikitina – Founder of Modern Fifty TV