What Does Love Yourself More really mean and how to achieve it?
5 Ways to Love Yourself More
In reality, self-love doesn’t mean staring in the mirror and saying “I love you” to your reflection (without genuinely believing it). Loving yourself comes down to actions: What do you do every minute of every day to prove to yourself that you’re lovable, deserving, and worthy?
Are your job, relationships, and the things you say a direct reflection of who you REALLY ARE?
1. Get to know yourself
Yes, you’ve been with yourself every second since the day you were born, but how well do you really know who you are? Do you know what you love, what makes you happy, and what you want from life? It’s impossible to love yourself if you don’t know yourself, so take some time to think about what you believe in value, and like, and identify your strengths (particularly the ones that have gone unnoticed). Getting to know yourself also means being honest with yourself—insecurities can cause illusions or you might have some self-deception.
“There is nothing more important to true growth than realizing that you are not the voice of the mind, you are the one who hears it.” – Michael Singer from The Untethered Soul
Make a list of your qualities, likes, strengths, and passions. Then, become MORE of that, unapologetically. Get rid of the activities or traits that don’t feel true to you and fill up the empty space with more you-ness.
2. Forgive yourself
A common setback of self-love is holding onto things we’ve done in the past. Maybe it was an embarrassing moment that haunts you to this day or maybe it was a serious mistake that you’re still letting define you. If you cheated in a relationship, got fired from a job, or can recall every single embarrassing moment since you were a kid, you might be holding onto evidence that you’re NOT lovable.
Instead, look at how you’ve changed since those past mistakes or embarrassing moments. Realize how even the worst moments have made you stronger, kinder, and better.
BOTTOM LINE: See yourself as a growing human being, not as a compilation of your past mistakes.
3. Say “No” when you mean no
Boundaries let other people know that you expect respect, but more importantly, they let you know that you deserve respect. Every time you say “yes” when you want to say “no” puts others’ opinions and needs above your own, which builds more evidence that you’re not the priority. Say “yes” when you mean yes and “no” when you mean no.
Especially as women, we feel this constant need to make everyone happy. While empathy and kindness are admirable and crucial traits, the problem is that making yourself happy ends up falling to the bottom of the list of priorities.
4. Care About Nutrition
No matter what your current relationship with food is like, the food you eat should be an act of self-love. Do you know that old-school saying that you are what you eat? Well, it is kind of true: Food serves as information that tells our bodies what to do.
BOTTOM LINE: It’s not about “good foods” you’re supposed to eat versus “bad foods” you’re not supposed to eat; it’s about loving your body enough to nourish it with whatever makes it feel its best. After all, health is the best gift you could ever give to yourself.
With that being said, pleasure is a nutrient too, so also treat yourself to the foods you love without guilt, shame, or deprivation.
5. Play More
When was the last time you did anything just FOR FUN? How do you spend your free time alone that isn’t bingeing on Netflix? If it’s difficult (or impossible) for you to think of an answer, your very stressful adult life has likely taken precedence over a very important aspect of life: having fun.
Lack of self-love or constant self-judgment might be just because you’re taking life too seriously. If it brings you joy, then there’s no excuse to stop doing it just because you’ve ‘aged out’ or because you’re an ‘adult.’
Conclusion
Keep promises to yourself.
Confidence just means that you trust your own word: When you say you’re going to do something, you do it. Keep in mind that following through with what you plan on doing is worth more than just achieving what you want—it’s building confidence and self-trust, which translate into self-love.
We spend so much of our lives trying to be accepted, prove ourselves to other people, and blend in that sometimes we stop prioritizing our truest selves. Many of us still have the middle-school mentality that if we’re loved by others, then we’ll love ourselves, so we try to fit in or seek acceptance. In reality, we only love ourselves when our actions align with who we really are.
First, appear in 10 Ways to Love Yourself More.