10 Ways To Boost Your Confidence And Turn Your Life Around

confident midlife women posing for camera - Confidence

Confidence in your 50th or any age is the most powerful, tangible thing you can cultivate to achieve the life you want.

Maybe after watching “Look 10 years younger” makeovers on YouTube, you think that once you change your hair and/or makeup, then you’ll finally feel confident.

But actually, confidence is the key to making drastic improvements, whether it comes to your health, career, or relationships.

Here are 10 simple things that will help you to bust your confidence, so you can achieve your best life.

How To Boost Your Confidence My 10 Top Secrets

1. FEAR OF THE FUTURE

Use visualization. It’s natural to be afraid of the unknown that the future holds, but don’t allow your fear to take control of you. Visualize the best-case outcome, you’ll feel more confident going into scary situations.

ACTION STEP: Focus on taking one step at a time and keep moving forward.

2. THE ILLUSION OF CONTROL

We can control some things, but there are a lot of things out of our control. and it’s important to recognize the difference between the two.

ACTION STEP: Focus your attention on what you can do to improve your life.

3. BE SMART ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA

Do you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to someone else and wanting what they have? Especially nowadays, we are bombarded with beautiful and alluring messages on social media all day long.

But owning more things doesn’t necessarily make you happier. Quiet the opposite. And the fewer things we have, the less time and energy we spend on taking care of them.

ACTION STEP: Be grateful for what you have. And do yourself a favor and mute or unfollow everyone on Instagram except a few select accounts that bring you inspiration, motivation, and happiness.

We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.

4. GET RID OF CLUTTER IN ALL ITS FORMS

Clutter can be physical, mental, digital, or emotional, and it’s often a result of negative thoughts about ourselves, indecision, procrastination, fear, or unresolved issues from the past.

ACTION STEP: Get rid of things you don’t use, don’t love, or don’t need.

5. CHANGE THE WORDS THAT FOLLOW “I AM”

Personally, I identified myself as a computer programmer for a very long time. Because that is what I studied and did before I had children. I’ve put myself into categories of “I’m good with computers” and “I have a logical mind”, but because of that identity, I also said “I’m not a writer” or “I am not creative”.

But when I started the blogging business, I started to tell myself, “I am a writer and creative woman.” It gave me the confidence to pursue this blogging business and learn writing techniques.

ACTION STEP: Think about what stories you’ve been telling yourself about who you are. Change the words after “I am” to anything you want to be, and eventually, you’ll start to believe it.

Self confidence is a superpower. Once you start to believe in yourself, magic starts happening.

6. BAD MONEY HABITS

Do you tend to spend money celebrating when you’re happy or blowing off steam when you’re upset?

Or maybe you keep putting more and more debt on your credit card, but bury your head in the sand and try not to think about how you’re going to pay it off?

ACTION STEPS: Fight bad money habits this year by tracking goals like:

  • Paying off dept
  • Tracking your spending
  • Keeping a budget
  • Cutting down on emotional spending
  • Starting a money-making side hustle

7. TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS

Your toxic relationship might not be with a person but the relationship you have with yourself.

Things like negative self-talk, or toxic relationship with food, or dieting.

ACTION STEP: Let go of negative relationships and focus on surrounding yourself with positive people and relationships that support and nurture you.

8. KEEP PROMISE TO YOURSELF

To boost confidence, you must make and keep promises to yourself.

If you want to eat more veggies or get to bed earlier, make a plan, and then follow through with it, not just to accomplish the goal but also to build trust in yourself.

Think of it like a friend: The more you can rely on them and trust them, the more you love and respect them. The same goes for the relationship you have with yourself. Eat what you say you will, get to bed when you say you will, and then watch your confidence skyrocket.

9. PRACTICE EMPATHY AND POSITIVITY

Confidence requires a change in internal mindset.

Let go of grudges. Most of the time, the person we hold a grudge against isn’t affected by our feelings in the slightest, so the person who ends up holding onto the hurt ends up with the shorter end of the stick.

Don’t let those negative feelings eat away your happiness and mental health! But if changing mindset was as easy as flipping a switch, we’d all be confident.

ACTION STEP: Work on positive thinking through gratitude journaling or exercises and prioritize the glass-half-full mentality in all situations. See the good in other people, and you’ll start to see more good in yourself too.

10. NEGATIVE DEFINITIONS OF SUCCESS

So many of us have been brainwashed into thinking that success is defined by money, power, and status.

But what if you decide to redefine success? What would that look like for you?

You might need to do some soul-searching to find out what success means to you. Whatever it is, make sure that YOUR definition of success isn’t based on someone else’s approval or standards.

My success is achieving a simple life!

BONUS: BE BRUTALLY HONEST WITH YOURSELF

Let go of fantasy self.

A fantasy self is an idealized image you hold of yourself that exists separate from logic or reality.

Common fantasy self items include:

  • Too-small pants in a “goal” size or weight
  • Hobby and craft supply we don’t have time for
  • Books we don’t enjoy reading
  • Kitchen appliances we never use
  • Ingredients that we don’t know how to cook with
  • And so much more …

They don’t serve you anymore, and they only keep you from living a happy simple life.

ACTION STEP: Focus on finding who you are, not chasing an image of who you imagine yourself to be.

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid

FINAL THOUGHTS

“The good news is that you don’t have to be good at whatever new thing you’re doing in order to boost self-esteem. In fact, you probably won’t be good.

The confidence comes when you keep showing up, even when you’re not good at it. It will teach you to feel comfortable in uncomfortable situations and accomplished in trying something new. 

And, sometimes you have to remind yourself that not everything is as big of a deal as you make it in your mind.

  • You gained a few extra pounds—who cares?
  • You’re shy about meeting new people—big deal!
  • The side business you want to launch might fail—so what?

Doing something you want to do or being someone, you want to be (while saying “screw you!” to insecurities) might be the absolute best thing you could ever do for yourself.

Reminder: Don’t take everything so seriously; it’s just life! The point is to enjoy it.

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